The Net.Book of Practical Jokes and Pranks

Practical Jokes and Pranks
A Net.Book by W. Eric C. Ferguson. Binding info/Terms of this Net.Book Legal Disclaimer

Sovereign Glue a metal tankard to victim's breastplate. This has become a favorite, along with the saying "Here's your tankard."
WECF
Rub a piece of poison ivy or oak inside the codpiece of the victim. It's incredibly tough to act like billy bad-ass when it appears you have some sort of irritating disease or fungus.
WECF
A box located somewhere with a sign attached that says "To have your palm read, insert hand". Upon insertion, victim feels something sloppy run across their hand. Upon removal, their palm is indeed red and only time (about 1 week) will remove it.
Contrib. Harry Weis
Cast magic mouth on the male victim's sword. Upon the drawing of the weapon, the mouth speaks only in insults such as "You hit like a girl", "Why not just wear a dress?", and "Are you still gay?".
Contrib. Harry Weis
Cast "Grease" at the top of the stairs as the victim begins his descent.
WECF
Cast hold person on a robe-wearing victim, walk up, lift their robe over their head, and walk away.
Contrib. Harry Weis
Get a party member roaring drunk, sovereign glue an aerial anchor's string to them, throw them off the third story balcony, and anchor them in midair.
WECF
Cantrip "pinch" the barmaid's rear as she walks by the fighter.
WECF
Sovereign glue someone's inn room door shut during the night.
WECF
Write "Property of the Nine Hells" in indelible ink on their armor or weaponry.
WECF
Mix Air Spores in with their food. Gas for days...
WECF
Cast Darkness in someone's inn room just before daybreak.
WECF
Forge an official letter from some government-type (earl, duke, ...etc...) to the victim demanding their presence at their high court at some time some day soon. They will attend only to be turned away. Later, forge another letter from the same person demanding their presence at the next meeting of the court since they didn't attend the last one. They will be turned away again. Finally, forge another letter telling them there is an official warrant out for their arrest due to their refusal to appear at the court. Sit back and watch 'em sweat.
WECF
Paint your local elf black. (Can have bad results)
WECF
Write "Property of Raistlin Majere. If found, I will find you." on the inside cover of someone's spellbook.
WECF
Take a almost empty bag of flour and place the open end under the door of the victim. Then, jump on the full part. Flour will cover their room and everything will be white.
WECF
Cast "Dancing Lights", use the vaguely-human shape, and let the victim encounter an obviously evil servant of the underworld.
WECF
Wait for the victim to pass out from grog consumption, take them and their bed to town square and let them sleep it off there.
WECF
During the night, lead a local cow up into the victim's second-or-better floor inn room using some sugar or salt. The fun starts when they start trying to get the cow back down, because cows go up stairs, they don't go down.
WECF
The night before an meeting with an official or other high "we need something from them" NPC, put powdered milk right under the sheet on the victim's bed. This being medieval times, there is no such thing as air conditioning and the victim will sweat during the night, soaking the powdered milk up into their pores. The milk will sour quite quickly and is very hard to get out (if this joke was played today, it would at least take 1 week of showering about twice a day with Lava. How long will it take with oil soap?...)
WECF
Slip a "Amulet of Protection from Good" inside someone's back pack and invite them to accompany you to the High Temple of Healing and Justice.
WECF
Give the victim a marshmallow. Cast "Enlarge" on it while they are chewing.
WECF
Pull the desperado bar trick in a rich bar. For those of you Banderas-challenged, here's how it goes: When in a large city, go to the wealthiest bar you can find in the early evening (so everyone has most of their money left). It's usually in the merchant district. Once inside, find the largest table of wealthy-looking nobles and merchants you can find. Approach them with this offer:

"Gentlemen, are any of you wagering men? Oh, good! I would like to make you a wager. I will bet you (amount varies. usually the most they will agree to.) gold/steel/silver/etc... that I can go up to the bartender, stand on the bar, and piss on him, his bar, the floor, the walls, and his tankards and mugs and not only will he not be mad, he'll be happy."

If they bite it, say ok and approach the bartender. Approach him with this offer:

"Barkeep! I have a wager to make. I bet you (1/2 of what the other guys wagered) that I can set this tankard ten feet away on your bar, piss in it and not spill a drop."

If the original amount from the table gentlemen is high enough, the barkeep will gladly accept. Climb up on the bar, put the mug ten feet away, and proceed to pee on everything (except other patrons). When finished, tell the barkeep that you're not as good as you thought, and that you'll go get his money. He'll be happy for he just made free money and he doesn't have to clean it up (the barwench does that). Approach the gentlemen again and collect your money. Then give half of it to the barkeep and walk away. Free money.
Drew Walters
Mix some Air Spores in the victim's mount's food. Ugh. Mount gas for a week.
WECF
Whitewash the victim's mount.
WECF
Fill the victim's quiver 1/4 the way up with black concrete. They won't notice, and just wait until they try to draw an arrow.
WECF
Purchase a sword hilt that looks very similar to the hilt on the victim's sword. Take the sword from the scabbard, and attach the new hilt to the scabbard so it looks like the sword is still there. When they next draw their sword, they will be posturing with a hilt minus blade. (don't forget to give the sword back)
WECF
Randomly start saying "What? I didn't say anything!" to a party member. If the DM goes along enough to play up the fact they think the prankster said something, you have the makings of a neurotic character.
WECF
During the evening, purchase the most broken-down nag available and lead it to the inn's stables. Carefully move all equipment (saddle, stirrups, saddle bags,...etc...) to the new (broken-down) horse. Lead the real horse away and put it up in another stable for the night. Make sure you're present in the morning when the munchkin sees that his high-spirited charger has instantly decayed into a candidate for the glue factory.
WECF
Forge a letter from the queen or princess saying something to this effect:
Every player (males, anyway) I know of will not pass up the chance to boff the noblilty. When they approach the keep, the player will probably get jailed and might get to see the queen later (at his trial).
WECF
Spread rumors in town that the victim carries all of his platinum on his butt. Then sit back and watch as everyone takes a pinch.
WECF
Spread a rumor in the local mages' guild that the victim's plain old quarterstaff is actually a long-lost artifact of great power. It is so great, it has the power to mask it's natural abilities and hide the evil intent of it's wielder. But be careful!, it holds many powers and to get it away from it's wielder, they must be sneaky. Sit back and watch what lengths mages will go to to take the staff.
WECF
Cast "Alarm" on someone's chamber pot.
WECF
Cast Reduce on a male's pants. Works best on guys trying to pick up girls at bars.
Khopesh
Magic Mouth the podium while a speaker talks that coughs whenever the word "we" is said.
Khopesh
Claim to be a healer and cure depression with Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Laughter.
Khopesh
Sell a mount created by the spell Mount and leave town in a few hours.
Khopesh
Cast Nystul's Magical Aura on a wizard's eyeglasses and ask him/her if a certain item is magical, then sell it to him/her.
Khopesh
Cast Wizard Mark that says "Has the plague" on a hooker's back while she is asleep. Wizard Marks don't come off.
Khopesh
Levitate an opponent in a footrace six inches above the gound (preventing movement). If the opponent is wearing robes, judges wouldn't know.
Khopesh
Scare an inquisitor as s/he works.
Khopesh
Post a sign that starts by saying, "New law to take place next week: All persons must" and then has Explosive Runes. If this sign is posted to a wooden support for an overhang or roof, the roof will collapse when the sign is read.
Khopesh
Put a bundle of clothes the size of a small humanoid under a rug and put a Magic Mouth that groans when the clothes are stepped on.
Khopesh
Detect Snares & Pits while inside one.
Khopesh
Bet some person that they can't stand on their hands for over ten minutes, then cast Hold Person while they are standing on their hands. Balance a bowl of hot soup (preferably one that stains) on their feet or between their legs and wait for the spell to wear off.
Khopesh
Enchant the pews of a temple or church with a Magic Mouth that yells, "Hey! None of that!" whenever somebody coughs.
Khopesh
On a day after it rained, cast Phantasmal Force on a deep puddle to move it a few feet. Watch people try to jump over it!
Khopesh
Cast Phantasmal Force to make an additional top or bottom stair on a staircase. Watch people stumble and fall. (Be warned; if you make an extra bottom stair, about half of the people who stumble will break a bone or two, especially if they are going quickly.)
Khopesh
Add one of your own.

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